Shoptale
by AwesomeAlly0
Summary: When unsuspecting Frisk wanders into Walmart, they will have the strangest shopping experience of all time. (I do not own Undertale)
1. Welcome to Walmart

(This is what happens when my friends make up completely random AU's. Now, I present to you Shoptale)

Frisk ran into Walmart. They wanted to get away from their parents for now. After running inside, the automatic doors slid shut loudly behind them. Frisk looked around. They were in the garden area. That's not normally the entrance to the store, but whatever. A houseplant greeted them. It was talking about sharing money since their wallet was small and empty.

Instead of cash, Frisk was trapped in a shopping cart. It laughed dementedly, saying, "In this store, it's BUY or BE BOUGHT." They cried for help a strange goat lady threw a box of hot spices at the houseplant. It flew over the rows of items, giving a weird squeak.

"Greetings, my child. I am Toriel, caretaker of the outdoor section. Now, come with me. I will guide you through the puzzles." She took Frisk to the next area. "This is a clearance rack. Please familiarize yourself with the sight. You'll need to save your money in the future." Frisk nodded. Toriel left, saying she had to go find a few items before she'd take Frisk to her 'home.' Frisk was given a cellphone (much to their delight) and immediately left once Toriel disappeared.

"How do you get out of here?" Frisk muttered as they wandered. This place was huge considering it was just the gardening area. Several monsters tried to attack them, but with actions and random gifts (that they didn't even buy) they left the child alone. And Frisk got money from the happy monsters after fighting them, so maybe at one point they'd get to buy something.

But when they reached the other end of the gardening area, Toriel was there, with an outdoor grill trying to make a pie. She was surprised to see them, and they went in a tent of their own, went in a sleeping bag, and slept soundly. (Even though they were only there for like an hour. Frisk, are you really _that_ tired out from shopping?)


	2. Goodbye Goat Mom

(I wasn't planning to make a whole series out of this, but since people have been requesting more, here's chapter 2!)

Frisk woke up to find out Toriel somehow succeeded in making her pie. It had been slightly burnt at the crust but besides that, it was delicious! Then they stepped out of the tent, to see Toriel sitting in a chair, reading a book about snails. Frisk asked her about going home. Toriel stiffened, then said, "Why this is your home now."

Frisk didn't like that answer, "You expect me to live in a _Walmart_ for the rest of my life?!"

Toriel sighed, and stood up. "Please excuse me, I have business to attend to." Frisk followed them anyway. "This is the exit to the rest of the store. I am going to destroy it."

"No! I have to go home!" Frisk protested.

"I have seen the fates of all the others. They come. They leave. They die." Frisk seemed to shrink in their shoes, but stayed where they were. "Fine you want to leave? Then prove yourself strong enough to survive!" The area around them grew dark, as it always did when Frisk got in a fight. Their eyes widened. Dramatic music played. Frisk looked to the right, where a Froggit was sitting next to a music player.

Those four buttons also appeared. FIGHT, ACT, ITEM, or SPARE. Frisk chose the SPARE button whenever they had the chance, and Toriel's resolve slowly weakened until they stopped fighting.

They hugged, and Toriel reminded Frisk, "Once you leave, you will not be able to return." Frisk nodded into her shoulder an 'okay' and then they released, and Toriel disappeared among the aisles.

Frisk walked through the door.

Shelves full of dusty school supplies towered above them. Frisk eyed them. They hated school, and this had textbooks and notebooks and everything else you would need.

Then, a stapler fell.

It was in a place before that it definitely wouldn't have fallen from. Frisk looked behind them nervously, then continued.

They heard a footstep.

Frisk dashed down towards the end of the long aisle of school supplies, only to be greeted with one collapsed section of the floor.

"Human." Frisk was shaking like a leaf.

"Don't you know how to greet a new pal?" Frisk wondered if they should tell him that you shouldn't scare a 'new pal' like that, but decided against it.

"Turn around and shake my hand."

Frisk slowly turned and put out their hand.


	3. Spooky Scary Skelebros

(This chapter is much longer. I may or may not have gotten a _bit_ carried away writing this but I wanted to end at-

Wait. No spoilers.

I may have an inconsistent upload schedule, as I have mentioned in my last update on my other story, Through the Resets. Now, without further ado,

Just read it already.)

Frisk's face turned red.

 _Of course a whoopee cushion! Because why not! Why would anything else here make sense!? It's not like anything else here has!_

"Heh, the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. It's _always_ funny."

 _Where are the knives?_

"The name's Sans. Sans the skeleton. I'm supposed to be on the lookout for humans, but I don't feel like capturing anyone." Capturing? Why would they capture humans?

"Now my brother, Papyrus, he's a human-hunting _fanatic_." WHY ARE THEY HUNTING HUMANS! "Don't worry, he's not dangerous." Pfft, yeah right. He's probably just saying that so they can capture me for... some strange reason. "Actually, I think that's him over there." Indeed, there was a figure in the distance running. Frisk gasped at the thought of another shopping cart thrown at them.

"Quick, behind that conveniently-shaped lamp." Once again, he was right. There was a lamp a few feet away that was the exact size of Frisk. They didn't question it; they just ran for cover.

Sans told stupid puns while Papyrus got angrier and angrier. Frisk realized, there was no way Papyrus was dangerous. He was weird and silly, but he wasn't the warrior type.

Frisk also realized the origin of the skeleton's names and almost burst out laughing if it wasn't for that thought of the shopping cart. They were named after FONTS. Comic Sans and Papyrus. The moment Papyrus left, they burst out laughing. Sans looked over at them, surprised.

"Were my puns really that great? That'd be a first." Frisk calmed themselves a little, then said:

"No, they were horrible. It's your names!"

"Our names? What's so funny about that? " Sans was genuinely confused.

"The fonts!" He only got more confused. "You know, Comic Sans and Papyrus." CONFUUUSION "We're in a Walmart, don't you have electronics?"

"Yes." It seemed Sans had no clue what that had to do with his name.

"Don't you have like Microsoft Word or something?" He nodded.

"Have you ever changed the font?"

"What's a font?"

 **EPIC FACEPALM**

Frisk sighed in defeat. "You know what, never mind. It doesn't matter."

Frisk walked over a wooden plank put over the gap and continued to see...

Sans and Papyrus talking.

How did Sans get ahead? Anyway, when they saw Frisk, Sans acted dumb and Papyrus, well, he acted like Papyrus as far as Frisk knows. They exchanged glances, but started doing it so fast that it wasn't even looking at each other and they kept going faster and faster until were really just spinning around ridiculously fast. This only succeeded in making everyone dizzy, and then a speech from 'The Great Papyrus' about how he will "Thoroughly jape me with his carefully planned puzzles," and ran off, followed by Sans, who only bothered to walk.

Frisk realized they were in the toy department at the first 'puzzle,' which was a game of twister. Papyrus won, due to Sans 'accidentally' collapsing on Frisk when he only had to stand on two green circles. It did, however, trigger a round of giggles from child. The skeletons did a little guessing game on Frisk's age while they were exploring more of the toy section. Although there was no real way of telling, the closest guess seemed to be only seven or eight years old.

They moved on to the next room, where the next puzzle was waiting.

A word search.

Frisk tried their best for a few minutes, pen in hand and on the floor, they did their best, before giving up on some harder ones. Papyrus looked disapprovingly at Sans.

"SANS! THAT BARELY STOPPED THEM."

"Sorry bro. I knew I should have used today's crossword instead."

"WHAT? THE CROSSWORD?! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT JUNIOR JUMBLE IS EASILY THE HARDEST."

"HUMAN! SOLVE THIS DISPUTE! WHICH IS HARDER, CROSSWORD OR JUNIOR JUMBLE?"

Frisk thought for a moment, then answered, "I've never tried either."

"THEN I WIN BY DEFAULT! NYEH HEH HEH!" Frisk giggled as Papyrus laughed and dashed off.

Frisk went up to talk to Sans, "Hey kid, I have a feeling you're going to be fighting Papyrus soon, so I have some advice for you." Frisk nodded nervously, "He has a blue attack, okay? A stop sign is red. So when you see the blue attack, think of blue stop signs." Frisk nodded again, more confident now. Then they set off through the rows of shelves. "Remember, blue stop signs!" Sans said in a slightly louder voice than normal, which was presumed to be a yell.

 _Well. At least I know he's not lying. I mean, I_ can _see right through him._ Frisk chuckled at their little pun, before reaching the next little area Papyrus set up.

They took a break at a little table with fake spaghetti on it, with a note from Papyrus. After reading it, Frisk attempted to eat it, because it did say he cooked it. After a struggle of trying to get some off the plate, Frisk had a nibble, and looked around for some water. Or, really, anything to get rid of the taste. They grinned when they found they still had some of Toriel's pie left. The cinnamon-butterscotch taste overruled the taste of spaghetti. Frisk wishes they could describe the taste, but it was simply indescribable.

Frisk moved on to an area with fog machines set up everywhere. Or, so they guessed. It was too foggy to see the machines.

"HUMAN! ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME COMPLEX FEELINGS. FEELINGS LIKE... THE JOY OF FINDING ANOTHER PASTA LOVER. THE ADMIRATION FOR ANOTHER'S PUZZLE SOLVING SKILLS. THE DESIRE FOR ANOTHER SMART, COOL PERSON TO THINK YOU ARE COOL. THESE FEELINGS... THEY MUST BE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW! I CAN HARDLY IMAGINE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO FEEL THAT WAY. AFTER ALL, I AM VERY GREAT. I DON'T EVER WHAT HAVING LOTS OF FRIEND FEELS LIKE. I PITY YOU... LONELY HUMAN... WORRY NOT! YOU SHALL BE LONELY NO LONGER! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL BE YOUR... NO! THIS IS ALL WRONG. i CAN'T BE YOUR FRIEND. YOU ARE A HUMAN! I MUST CAPTURE YOU! THEN, I CAN FULFILL MY LIFELONG DREAM. POWERFUL! POPULAR! PRESTIGIOUS! THAT'S PAPYRUS! THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD!"

The world around the two grew dark.

The fight begins.

(*Allison dies at the sight of nice reviews.

You earned 999 EXP and 0 gold.

Your LOVE increased.)


	4. Fight with Precious Cinnabon

(Well, it seems I'm great at schedules. I say I'll be every week, then take two weeks.

Yeah, I actually have no clue how often I'll be able to upload.

Meh, I'll still try for ever week. Anyway... HERE'S A CHAPTER)

Frisk gasped. They weren't expecting to have to fight Papyrus. Poor, sweet Papyrus. A tiny voice, one that somehow seemed familiar, was tempting them to knock off the skeleton's head. They blinked in confusion; why would they do that?

Frisk frantically checked their inventory for anything to give him. Nothing seemed good to give to him, though. _Oh well._ They thought. They should really stock up for fights with friends in the future. They just hadn't expected to have to fight Toriel or Papyrus. Most of the monsters would take just about anything, but they felt like they should have special items for these kinds of fights.

They simply reached into their inventory, grabbing the first thing and giving it to Papyrus before looking at it. After it was in the skeleton's hands, they saw it, mortified. The label said MTT-BRAND CUTE JUICE. (Good job there, Frisk)

Papyrus didn't seem to think it was weird. In fact, he opened the container and dabbed some behind his ear.

Wait. He doesn't have ears. WHAT IS THIS SORCERY.

Ignoring that completely random outburst in your head, dodge a random floating (and, sadly, empty) cash register, and with no more strange gifts you'd like to give, you simply show Papyrus you won't fight. He actually seemed surprised that you wouldn't fight, and then threw random blue objects at you. Remembering Sans's warning, you didn't move as the magical items floated by you. Your eight year old mind thought you were actually a ghost for a second, phasing through the objects, before you felt heavy. You fell to the ground, and a large, strangely fast group of toy soldiers ran over you.

Papyrus had somehow managed...

to...

Make your wallet blue?

How does that work?

Then, furious, you realized that the outside had been damaged slightly by the soldiers. Frowning, you considered fixing it, but decided to leave it for later. For now, though...

YOU

MUST

SPARE THIS SKELETON

ACCEPT THE MERCY PAPYRUS (HELP I CAN'T STOP YELLING)

okay let's stop that.

You kept sparing him. Just like when fighting Toriel, he seemed to waver the more they spared. Until, he seemed to stop.

"IT MAY BE HARD TO SEE YOU WHEN YOU GO, UM, WHERE EVER YOU'LL GO WHEN I CAPTURE YOU..."

"..."

"YOU KNOW WHAT?"

"...?"

"WHO CARES! I'LL HAVE LOTS OF FRIENDS AFTER THIS! NYEH HEH...

HEH."

"!"

"HUMAN! THIS IS MY SPECIAL ATTACK!"

Woah, okay, so many unexpected things just happened. The fight was almost over! And now he's using a _special attack._ Frisk doesn't have the energy for this kind of thing. They are too tired right now. Still they have to try.

It was a mad storm of random items and a stumbling Frisk trying to dodge. It was an absurd attack. There were words spelled out little phrases.

Frisk had just realized that most of the items were store related, food related, or puzzles related. And, of course, bones.

so

Many

BONES

The special attack was done. Frisk and Papyrus collapsed.

Papyrus suggested calling it a tie. Frisk was too tired to go on anymore, and agreed.

Then they blacked out.

(Yay! Chapter complete! Sorry this took so long to get out! I know it's short again... I'm been kind of busy...

And obviously not watching anime or anything.

I've also been wondering

Should I:

A: Make this story closely follow the Undertale plot, just in a store

B: Make it loosely similar

C: Make it go off to a different kind of plot

Tell me! I love feedback on the story!

That's all folks!)


	5. Update

**I AM SORRY ABOUT LACK OF UPDATES**

 **I was procrastinating (like I always do) but then my computer broke. I'm just borrowing a friends computer right now, but I won't be able to update for a while. I'm not sure HOW long, but once it's fixed I will work on updating ASAP.**

 **Sorry if it takes a while!**


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